全文约 3200 字，读完可能需要 4 分钟。
一直被拒型
def my_love_story():
for girl in every_girl_I_liked:
response = declare_love(girl)
if response != "NO":
raise RunTimeError("There must be something wrong with the girl.")
孤单型
def my_love_story():
return None
自己动手型
def my_girl_friend():
return "Right Hand"
或者
import random
def my_girl_friend():
my_girl_friends = ["Left Hand", "Right Hand"]
return random.choice(my_girl_friends)
风流型
def my_love_story():
for girl in every_girl_I_have_met:
sleep_with(girl)
一见钟情型
def my_love_story():
assert love_at_first_sight(my_girl_friend) is True
钟爱一生型
def my_love_story():
girl = met_a_girl
()
girl_friend = dated_her(girl)
wife = got_married(girl_friend)
mother = had_a_child(wife)
assert girl is girl_friend is wife is mother
寻找真爱型
def my_love_story():
girl = find_someone()
while not is_the_one(girl):
girl = find_someone()
live_happily_ever_after()
韩剧型
def my_love_story():
assert me.is_wealthy()
assert me.is_handsome()
assert me.is_tall()
girl = someone_I_met_at_a_random_party()
me.hate(girl)
me.fell_in_love_with(girl)
girl.ex_boy_friend is jerk
me.fight(girl.ex_boy_friend)
me.date(girl)
me.mother.hate(girl)
me.mother.find_me_another_girl()
me.break_up_with_my_family()
girl
.got_cancer()
me.is_devastated()
me.mother.give_money_to(me)
me.mother.accept(girl)
girl.is_cured()
me.kiss(girl)
the_end()
相亲型
def my_love_story():
available_girls = filter(who_does_not_mind_my_poverty, girls_my_mother_set_me_up())
marry(biggest_boobs(available_girls))
现实型
def my_love_story():
girl = met_a_girl()
girl_friend = fell_crazy_in_love(girl)
with before_getting_married(girl_friend):
if not all([me.have_a_house, me.have_a_car, me.have_a_lot_of_money]):
girl_friend.break_up_with(me)
我爱的人和爱我的人型
def my_love_story():
for girl in every_girl_that_loved_me:
me.reject(girl)
for girl in every_girl_that_I_loved:
girl.reject(me)
暗恋型
def my_love_story():
places_I_have_been = [classrooms, companies, supermarkets, restaurants, trains, hotels_I_stayed]
for girl in the_most_beautiful_girl():
me.fell_in_love_with(girl)
girl.never_notice(me)
If u rd al abv, and udrstnd tm, chncs r u dnt hv a grl frnd.
原文：http://cizixs.com/2015/04/19/love-story-in-a-python-function
题图：pexels，CC0 授权。
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